


nevermind what you're looking for, you'll always find what you're looking for

by depressedgayartist



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Soulmates, Psychologist John Lennon, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, Youtuber Paul McCartney, they are still both musicians tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21829435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depressedgayartist/pseuds/depressedgayartist
Summary: paul is a former music teacher that found his passion by creating a youtube channel that is all about soulmates - he also has an instagram for his dog, martha, but that's not the point - the point is that paul is an expert on soulmates and is just waiting patiently for his to come around.john, on the other hand, is a psychologist/musician a hundred percent convinced that soulmates are not all that and people just fantasize the concept too much to make their lives less sad - no, he is not pessimistic, just realistic, thank you very much.but, like what seems to be a big joke the universe decided to make, they are now soulmates and need to sort out how their lives are going to be from now on because neither of them expected to be matched with someone… like that.
Relationships: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney
Comments: 44
Kudos: 90





	1. different points of view

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know what this is  
> It's 2 am and I am posting this on a impulse because I am super depressed  
> But, because I was super depressed, I decided to write this as a way of coping  
> So, enjoy!

paul's youtube channel started almost like a joke. 

he was talking to his friends about his opinions on soulmates and the 'science' behind it all, quoting works he had read through the years and also relating to his personal experience.

it was a cheerful chat and he was happy to finally share all those things because ‘soulmates’ was a topic he was largely interested in. then, richie turned to him and said “why don’t you start a blog or something? i think a lot of people would like it”.

and, at that moment, he didn’t give it much thought. but, later on, he realized that it was, in fact, a really good idea.

because even though paul often had serious doubt about if he would ever find  _ his  _ soulmate - whether platonic or romantic -, he still enjoyed talking and learning more about the subject.

because, after all, that was what kept people moving, right? the certainty that at some point in their lives, people would find someone to love and understand them just the way they were. the silent promise of the universe that, sooner or later, you wouldn't have to go to bed all on your own and cry yourself to sleep. it sounded… comforting.

-

john wasn’t the warmest person when it came to soulmates. 

he thought that the marks people carried on their wrists were nothing but the ultimate symbol of idealization that society as a whole had about romantic love.

“when you meet them, you will finally be happy and complete!” was practically the headline of all romantic comedies, romantic novels, and love songs.

it was ridiculous. the simple idea that you couldn’t be happy on your own and had to sit around just waiting for ‘the one’ was ridiculous. 

as a songwriter himself, he often would write songs about love that didn’t necessarily involve soulmates, because you  _ can  _ and  _ should  _ be happy with whoever you want and not someone that the universe chose for you.

but it was really hard to find people who thought the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, I don't know what this is and I also don't know if I will continue to write it because this was all done on impulse but... who knows?  
> If you liked it, please let me know. I love to hear people's opinions on the stuff I write.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading, love ya 💕


	2. the youtuber and the psychologist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look at this! Here we go again.  
> I said that maybe I'd post more chapters to this and here I am with a new chapter for this little story.  
> I'd like to thank all of you who left kudos and comments on the first chapter. You are the reason why I decided to continue this.  
> Also also I'd like to let you know that this story is like my happy place. That is to say that I'm writing it for fun and won't invest too much of my time doing research and stuff like that but that doesn't mean that I'm not taking this seriously. I am. Just doing things a little different from what I would normally do.  
> If that's okay for you and you'd still like to read what's below, then I am very happy to welcome you as my reader. Enjoy!

paul used to work as a music teacher before his youtube channel launched.

he gave private lessons of piano and guitar to kids from 6 to 17 years old. 

he liked his job. music was something that had been in his life for as long as he could remember and he was surprisingly good with kids.

still, now and then, he would question his purpose in the world. the late bills that needed to be paid until the end of the month, laying at the coffee table of his living room, also wouldn't help.

so, when he heard that youtube was growing and now was a good way to make money, he decided to give it a try.

not that he expected much, though. after all, he wasn't the only person with a channel about soulmates and the more experienced youtubers would probably swallow him alive. 

he even started to wonder if it wouldn't be a better idea to have a channel with guitar and piano tutorials. or maybe one where he'd post some of his original songs. he had two or three that he thought that were good enough to be posted…

but then, more people - that weren't his family or his friends - started to subscribe to his channel and leave likes and comments on his videos. there weren't  _ that _ many people at the beginning, though, but it was enough to motivate paul to not give up on his channel and start to work harder on his content.

and, as time went on, his channel continued to grow so much to the point where now he could be considered an internet celebrity. or, as the kids say these days, a digital influencer.

-

john was a psychologist half of the time and a musician at the other half.

he worked at a clinic downtown on weekdays and would sometimes play at the pub close to the clinic on weekends.

since when he was a teenager, he knew he wanted to be a psychologist, as he found more comfort and answers for the chaotic world he lived in magazines and books about mental health than anything else in his life.

people around him wouldn't discourage his newly found passion for psychology but sometimes he'd still hear comments like "everybody knows that once you find your soulmate, your souls will be balanced and any mental illnesses you may have will go away".

which, just for the record, was bullshit.

john had a wide range of patients from all genders, ages, and races. some of them who had already found their soulmates and some who had not. and the first group had the same kinds of problems and mental health issues as the second group. so yeah, again, bullshit.

but he kind of understood why people believed in such stupid things. it was all about keeping hope alive: the collective outbreak that everything bad in your life would go away the moment you met your soulmate. people needed that to keep going, something he had noticed on his second group of patients.

still, he would slowly try to convince the world that things weren't really like that. not only when he would talk to his patients but also when he would sing his songs to a crowd of strangers at the pub.

that's why the manager of the pub had now asked him to sing only cover songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again!  
> I hope that you liked this chapter as much as I liked to write it. What, just for the record, this time happened only because I felt like writing and not because I had a depressive episode so YAY!  
> I don't know when the next chapter will be posted but I hope that will be soon. Until then, thanks again for reading this fic so far and I hope we'll see each other next time. Bye!


	3. written compass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> Chapter three is here right out of the oven for y'all to read!  
> Also thank you for leaving kudos and comments because that way I know that you are enjoying what I'm writing and it motivates me to keep going ^^  
> Btw, something that I meant to say earlier but didn't: the title of this fic was taken off of a song, Nevermind by FosterThePeople. It was the song that I listened to while writing the first chapter and also when I posted it. I thought it fitted the fic's main plot quite well.  
> Anyways, no more stalling. Enjoy the chapter!

how long more? how long paul would have to wait to meet his soulmate? 

sometimes he felt like the only person among his friends who still hadn't found his soulmate. richie and george had already found each other, so did people who he had dated in the past and even his father.

_ oh, no _ . what if he became one of those people who waited for their soulmate for so long that, in the end, they just got tired of waiting and ended up marrying and starting a family with someone they liked - but who wasn't their soulmate - and then, years later, he would finally find his soulmate and get a divorce from the first person he married?

no, it couldn't be. paul could be anything but a freaking cliché.

however, there was really nothing he could do. when and how he would meet his soulmate was up to the universe and the universe only. all he had to 'guide' him was the mark on his wrist. the first words his soulmate would say to him.

he had read it over and over again and still couldn't figure out in which context they would meet because what was marked on his wrist was simply… very unique and weird. that was the only possible way to describe it.

he had decided, though, to not tell his followers about what was written on his wrist. as an expert on the subject, he knew that showing to others his mark wouldn't really change anything or cause him some kind of bad luck. but, to be fair, he was a little embarrassed. because while most people had romantic or kind words written on their wrist, his… were not even close to that.

and that sometimes made him wonder what kind of person his soulmate would be. 

-

it would be the best of worlds to john if he met his soulmate in… let's say, his deathbed?

oh yes, only seconds before his life ended he would look in his soulmate's eyes and say something like 'oh, it was you? well, I hope you enjoyed your life as much as enjoyed mine'. and that would be it.

no tears, no drama. just 'was it good for you? anyways, goodbye'.

even though a part of him was sure that it wouldn't be like that, he couldn't help but dream. after all, what exactly are you supposed to expect when everything you have written on your wrist is 'hey'?

'hey'. just that. end of the story. he would meet the person who was meant to be his lifelong partner and all he had to spot them was one.  _ freaking. _ word.

like, how many people said 'hey' to him on a daily basis? among patients, friends, baristas, uber drivers and even the doorman of the building he lived in? what the actual fuck, was the entire world his soulmate? 

maybe for that reason he had given up already. not that he saw it that way because, as i may remind you, john thought that the idea that you'd only be happy and complete with your soulmate was rubbish. but maybe his mark started all of it.

just imagine it for a second: seven-year-old john lennon coming home from school one day with tears on his face because some classmates told him that he'd never be able to find his soulmate with just one common word like 'hey'. yeah, but what do i know? i'm just a narrator for this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> Hope you liked this chapter. I promise it's the last descriptive one, the next chapters will get on more narrative and things will actually start to happen.  
> I think that's everything for now. See ya!


	4. karaoke night with people who can actually sing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, everyone! How y'all doing? I hope you're fine.  
> So, this chapter is more narrative and less description so I hope you enjoy that.  
> Thanks once more to all of you who have left kudos and comments. You guys are the best ^^  
> Well, no more stalling. Enjoy your reading!

"it's going to be fun! like karaoke night," richie said with a smile.

"yeah, but with people who can actually sing," george was quick to amend.

they were trying to convince paul to come with them to the pub on saturday night. there was going to be a special event where amateur musicians would be allowed to sing and they thought paul could sign up for it. it wasn't the first time, though, that they would try to drag him to the pub but it would be the first time that paul would actually say yes and go. 

"okay, then," he answered in the most casual tone he had.

george arched one eyebrow and richie said out loud what they were both thinking, "wait, seriously? don't you have anything to do or…?"

"actually, no. i'm totally free this saturday night."

"thank god" george said, taking a sip from his wine.

-

"you're coming this saturday, aren't you, john? please tell me you're coming."

john laughed at brian's obviously desperate face.

"of course i'm coming. have you ever seen me miss an event like this?"

"well, just to confirm. that time when you had the flu and didn't come, some clients complained and left smaller tips."

"if it depends on me, you will get the biggest tips you've ever seen in your life."

brian smiled in response. he and john had met when john was only a psychology student and brian, only a bartender at the most popular pub downtown. but that had been six years ago and now john was a graduate psychologist while brian was the manager of the pub. and yes, in case you are wondering, he had been the one who asked john to play only cover songs. but can you blame him? the guy had to do what was best for the business even though he hated to limit his friend's creativity like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think?  
> Well, they haven't met yet but I can promise you that it will happen soon ;)  
> Thank you again for all the support you guys have been giving this little fic of mine, it makes me more excited and inspired to write it!  
> Okay, I think that's all for now. Kisse and see you on the next chapter!


	5. everything till this moment brought me to you pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, dear readers!  
> Here I present you the 5th chapter of our little journey and I hope y'all enjoy it.   
> As you may have seen, this chapter was divided into two parts. The second part will probably be out next week if I don't decide to post it earlier.  
> Also, I changed the summary of the fic. If you would be as kind as to tell me what you think of it, it would be lovely.  
> Anyways, no more stalling. Enjoy your reading!

it's not that paul doesn't like to spend time with his friends. he does. he just doesn't have the time to do it whenever he wants.

he had to record and edit videos for his channel, have meetings with his agent, take care of his flat and his dog, martha, and sometimes, on weekends, he would go visit his dad in liverpool.

but this saturday he was free because he was ahead of schedule with his channel and he wouldn't go visit his dad because he and his stepmother were taking a little vacation. perks of being retired.

that's why that saturday night, at exactly seven pm, paul arrived at the pub with his guitar on his back and a list of songs on his mind.

-

john already knew how it would be. he would play some cover songs, drink a little, talk to his friends and then go home. typical saturday night.

when he got to the pub, though, it seemed more crowded than usual. that didn't bother him much but made it difficult for him to find his friends.

"john! over here!" a voice called him to a table placed at a corner. the voice owner, ringo, as john liked to call him, used to be his colleague at the clinic until he decided that psychology wasn't his passion anymore and opened a music studio with his soulmate, george.

as john seated down, george ordered a drink for him and ringo started to talk about a friend of theirs that was about to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> Once again, thank you for all the comments and kudos left as they are the source of the motivation that keeps me going ;)  
> Well, I think that's all for now. See ya in the next chapter!


	6. everything till this moment brought me to you pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Oh my, today was so weird that I nearly forgot to post this new chapter lol.   
> No more stalling, let's get back from where we left ;)

paul wasn't the kind to get stage nervous but the house was full and he couldn't remember the last time he had played for an audience.

luckily, he wasn't alone: sitting on a table at the corner, his friends were rooting for him. 

there was a guy with them that paul didn't know but he didn't give it much thought, assuming that he was probably friends with richie and george or, perhaps, someone they had just met.

when his name was announced on the microphone, the whole pub cheered and a female voice somewhere screamed, "i love you, paul!"

he smiled sheepishly, knowing that this probably had been one of his followers. he had no idea how they had found him there since he didn't post anywhere about his small presentation at the pub, but you know how fast things are on the internet. and there is nothing faster than passionate fans.

"i love you too," he said, throwing a charming smile at the audience and, in response, the female voice screamed again. he smiled once more and then said, "good night, everyone. my name is paul mccartney and i'll be playing a few of my original songs for you tonight. hope you like it."

-

john liked paul's songs. okay, maybe a little cheesy on the lyrics but he had to admit that the guy had talent.

anyhow, once paul was finished, he came over to the table where they were sitting and ringo officially introduced them.

“we wanted you two to have met earlier but paul was always busy. anyways, john, this is paul. paul, this is john.”

paul gave him a polite smile and a head nod. as he sat on the only empty seat left at the table, he casually said, “hey”.

john raised an eyebrow. perhaps it was his comic side taking over or, maybe, the alcohol on his system but the next thing he said was, “oh my god, it’s you! it’s really you! i can't fucking believe it, i..." then he started laughing, "i'm sorry, it's just that... look at this" he pushed down the sleeve of his jacket and showed his mark to paul, "it's fucking ridiculous, i know, but it's... oh my god, are you okay?"

as john spoke, paul’s face slowly became white. white as a sheet of paper. and the last words he could hear before fainting were ‘are you okay?’. which, just to make things clear, were also the last words marked on his wrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, what do you think? They finally met and, uh, I would say it went... pretty well, right? No, of course not, but that's magic of it all, isn't it?   
> Well, thanks again for all the comments and kudos, you guys are the best ^^  
> See y'all next week in the next chapter!


	7. not nearly as romantic as i imagined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there y'all! Sorry for not posting this chapter earlier (technically, for me, it's still February 3rd but ao3 says it's already 4th so, you know, time zones and all that).  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Have a nice reading!

“paul, can you hear me?” someone above him asked.

short answer:  _ yes, i can.  _ long answer:  _ yes, i can hear you, but it feels distant and blurry like you are miles away from me and i’m underwater. also, if you asked me if i can see you i’d say that i think that i am going blind or something because all i can see are flashes of light and shadows.  _ the answer he gave:  _ mm-hmm. _

“should we call an ambulance?”

“maybe…”

“wait! i think he is coming back to us. paul, how many fingers am i holding up?”

paul still felt dizzy and with the vague sensation that he could throw up at any second but, at least, his senses were now starting to function again and he could clearly hear george’s voice, who was crouching at his left side, waiting for an answer.

“three,” he murmured as he slowly tried to sit up. how did he get to the floor? oh right, he must have fallen when he fainted. 

george gave him a side smile, then addressed the crowd that had formed around them saying, “okay, everybody, there is nothing to see here. break it up!”

some people murmured in protest but soon enough they were left alone. that is, as alone as you can be in a full pub on a saturday night.

“you sure you’re okay, mate? that was pretty sudden. maybe we should still take you to a hospital,” john said.

that was when paul understood: for anyone else but him, he had simply lost his consciousness out of nowhere, for no reason.

“no!” he promptly said, pulling up the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing, “no, look!” he showed his mark to john, watching cautiously as the other man took his wrist and read what was written there.

“ _ oh _ ,” john softly said, after a few seconds, as he let go of paul’s wrist and looked at him in the eyes. yeah, deathbed scenario was definitely out of question now.

paul lifted his eyebrows expectantly. he was waiting for… well, something better than just ‘oh’. like, come on, was that all that john had to say? after years apart they had finally found each other and there was nothing else he wanted to say? the biggest event of their whole lives and, to him, it was just ‘oh’? 

“don’t you have anything else to say?” he asked when he got tired of waiting, in an almost sad tone. well, maybe not sad yet, but definitely disappointed somehow.

“well, uh… you see, the thing is..”

“okay!” george blurted in, putting himself between the two, “what do you lads say if we all call it a night and go home? sounds good? paulie, get your stuff. me and rings are gonna give you a lift.”

and, before either of them had time to do or say anything, paul was being dragged out of the pub while john was being called on stage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was that? Now that they have finally met, things are actually going to start to happen. Good things? Yeah, we sure hope so :p  
> Thank you for all the comments left in the last chapter (they were all delightful to read and reply to!) and for all the kudos too. You guys are the best <3  
> Well, now I have to go because I have to wake up early tomorrow and it's almost midnight.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will see you in the next one! Bye!


	8. lecturing someone inside a moving car is not exactly a good idea (specially if you are the one driving it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Sorry for not posting this chapter two weeks ago, like I intended to, but I wasn't feeling very well. That and also the fact that I have only one more finished chapter to be posted next and haven't had enough creativity to write more. But that's just how being a fanfic writer is, right?  
> Anyways, enjoy!

“what was all that about? i barely had the chance to talk to him!”

they were in the car now. george on the steering wheel, richie on the passenger’s seat and paul on the backseat. he was still trying to figure out what had just happened back at the pub. he had met his soulmate.  _ okay _ . that part still didn’t sound real enough but his mark was right there on his wrist to confirm that. then he fainted. then he woke up. then he showed his soulmate his mark and… his soulmate didn’t say anything. anything important, that is. he did try to mumble something before george’s interruption, but it almost seemed like he wasn’t excited or happy at all. and why wouldn’t he? paul didn’t get that part.

“you two know how important this is to me. why did you pull me out of there like that?”

george and richie shared worried looks and before they could silently agree on what to say next, george let go of the steering wheel saying, “get it, rings”

“what the-” richie started to curse but stopped when he got the steering wheel.

meanwhile, george turned so he could face paul, “you see, paul, how can i say that in a gentle way? uh… john doesn’t like you.”

“what? but we barely met!”

"it's nothing personal, really. it's just that… john isn't a big fan of soulmates and all that."

"what do you mean?"

"well, he is one of those people who don't believe that there is someone who was made for you, just waiting to be found," richie said without taking his eyes off the road. "the whole idea of soulmates, i mean. he doesn't believe in that."

paul took a moment to digest everything he had just heard. someone who doesn't believe in soulmates. from all people, this was the kind of person he had been paired up with: an anti-soulmate person. how lucky was he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked that. Thanks for those who left comments and kudos! I still haven't replied the comments left on the last chapter but I promise I will!  
> See you all in the next chapter! Kisses!


	9. compasses tell you were north is, not what you should do about your fucked up situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, what is this? Is it- no, it couldn't be... wait, it really is! An update! Omg, can you believe??
> 
> Okay, enough goofing around. Long story short, I found out yesterday (all my troubles seemed so far away...) that I lost a writing contest that I was really looking forward to and that bummed me out... a lot. But, since I just crawled out of a depressive episode, I tried to acknowledge my sadness without dwelling too much on it. And, by doing that, I realized that even though I didn't win the contest, there's plenty of people that like my work and this fanfic is proof of it. So, to celebrate that, I will be posting not only one but *two* new chapters! Yay!  
> And I want to take this moment to give a huge shoutout to everybody who commented on this while I was inactive. I have read your lovely comments over and over again and I promise that I will answer to all of them.  
> Well, enjoy your reading ♡

"and what are you going to do?" brian asked as he finished cleaning one more table.

the pub was already closed and the only people who were still there were john, brian and a couple of employees. they were cleaning everything up before they could go home. and yes, since he didn’t work there, john could have left already, but he insisted on staying to wait for brian. also, if i owe you some honesty, john was a little bit shaken by the events of that night and still didn’t want to go home. at least, not by himself.

“what do you think i should do?” 

“we’ve talked about this, john. i’m not your moral compass.”

“i know that. but still, you have got an opinion, don’t you?”

brian looked up at john, who looked back at him with an expectant expression on his face. lifted eyebrows and all that, just waiting for what - he knew that - brian had to say.

“ _ fine.  _ the lad you’re soulmates with? his name is paul mccartney and he is quite famous on the internet. he has a youtube channel all about soulmates.”

“shoot, so that’s what i start with: we’re not on the same page.”

“definitely no. it will probably be hard to convince paul of…” brian searched for the right words, “your point of view.”

“right, yeah. my…  _ point of view. _ ”

“you’re going to break someone’s heart, john.” and with that, brian moved to the next table, leaving john with those words echoing in his mind. it should be noted that he already knew that he was going to break someone’s heart. what he didn’t know was that it wouldn’t be only paul’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, the next chapter! Ta-da!


	10. a… truce? or, alternatively, when your dog is more famous than you

"you see, the thing is: i know you're a youtuber and all that but i do have the sensation that i know you from somewhere else…" john said as he analyzed paul's face meticulously.

paul felt a little uncomfortable. john was so close to him now that he wondered if he could hear his heart beating. or if he could smell his perfume just like paul could clearly smell john’s. or, perhaps, if he felt the same thing that paul was feeling at that exact moment: the undeniable and inexplicable, strong and persistent attraction that only soulmates could feel for one another. but a tiny piece of his heart doubted that john felt anything at all, everything that george and richie had said to him last night still echoing at the back of his mind. so he took a deep breath and answered on the most natural tone he had.

"perhaps you've seen me on instagram? i also post there frequently."

"no, it's still not that…"

"i, uh… i also have an instagram for my dog, martha."

john’s eyes lightened up.

"oh, yes! that's it!  _ marthamydear _ , isn't it?"

_ are you fucking seriously?  _ paul thought but kept it to himself.

“uh, yes. that’s it,” he said faintly.

“i really like that profile. you take some pretty good pics of your dog.”

“thanks, but… uh, john?”

"yes?"

"what are we doing here, exactly?"

"what do you mean?"

"you said you wanted to talk. what do you want to talk about, exactly?"

oh, yes. right. that morning john had asked ringo for paul's phone number and when he got it, he sent a text that said 'can we meet later today? i think we need to talk' and then they both agreed on a nice coffee shop downtown at 4 pm. 

and although both of them had a vague idea of what they needed to talk about - their obvious incompatibility even though the universe determined that they were a hundred percent compatible - none of them really knew how to start such a conversation.

taking a sip from his coffee latte, paul tried to stop his hands from shaking and his voice from quivering as he decided he should be brave enough and say something. even if he didn't want to say anything at all.

"george and richie said to me that… you're not really a soulmate person?" his words were as quiet as a whisper and, for a moment, he feared that john hadn't listen to him. 

but he did. 

"yup. and that's why i called you here today."

"alright," paul said firmly, giving him a look that meant 'go ahead, i'm listening'.

john decided to go straight to the point.

"we can't be together."

if paul had been drinking the moment he heard that, he would have choked. 

" _ excuse me? _ "

from all the nonsense paul had heard in all his years of existence, that was, with no trace of doubt, the most stupid of it all. who that lad thought he was? sure, they stood in complete opposite sides when it came to soulmates, but it would be utterly carelessly and irresponsible to take a lifetime decision based on that and that only. for god's sake, they knew each other for less than a day!

"look, it's nothing personal. it's just that… i don't want a soulmate," john said, as if those words would suddenly explain everything and make it all better.

"well, it's not really something you  _ choose _ to have," paul retorted, feeling his blood starting to boil up.

_ ouch. you said some shit, lennon. try again. _

"that's not what i mean. it's… it's just like you said: i'm not a soulmate person. soulmates are not for me. i mean, i know myself, okay? i know this is not gonna work."

"how can you be so sure?"

john opened his mouth to answer when a teenage girl with blue hair appeared, out of nowhere, and asked paul if she could take a selfie with him. john simply observed the scene, lazily sipping on his coffee and almost pretending that he wasn't there. when the girl left, she was polite enough to say goodbye to both of them.

"sorry for that," paul said with an invisible smile, clearly in a better mood than he had been in a minute ago.

"don't be, i get it"

paul stayed silent for a moment. he took a sip from his drink as he observed the rest of the coffee shop. it wasn’t too crowded, considering it was almost tea time on a saturday. but well, analyzing the room would get him nowhere. he opened his mouth, already knowing what he was gonna say, “it’s not up to you”.

“i beg your pardon?”

“it’s not up to you  _ only _ . you can’t come in here and make this big decision all by yourself. i don’t know when was the last time you had to think for more than one person, but this concerns  _ both  _ of us,” when paul finished, he was a little out of his breath. a little mad, too. so he took a deep breath and waited for john’s response.

john was taken aback by seeing paul, someone who he previously judged to be calm and contained, almost go off like that.

“okay,” he finally said, “fair enough, then. since it's a conjoined problem, there should be a conjoined solution"

paul tried not to dwell on how john had just called their situation a problem. instead, he started to drum his fingers on the table, just like he used to do when he felt overwhelmed or needed to concentrate on something.  _ what to do, what to do? _ john clearly didn't want anything to do with him but paul wasn't the type that gave up easily... finally, his eyes lightened up when an idea came to his mind. yeah, it was  _ good _ . okay, maybe not perfect, actually, but it could work… if they both agreed on it, that is. you know what, screw it. better try something rather than nothing.

"john, what about you and i make a deal?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thank you for all the love and support you've given me. It means literally the world to me.  
> Oh and if you see any mistakes, it's because it's 4am so my proof-reading skills are a little off.  
> Well, see ya!


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